View profile: jlcoke

Real name: Joshua Coke
Self description:

I'm an over-stressed psychology student desperately trying to find a good clinical doctoral program while at the same time working with primarily 18-21 year old students who are not only positive that they have the world figured out, but are also keen on telling me so many times a day. Evidently I've prematurely entered middle age in a mere 23 years; prefering to collect cheese and wine while complaining about the neighbor children playing on my lawn. How do I cope with this suicide-inducing stress? I write. Mostly humor, and I'll warn you that I'm not particularly good, but I keep myself entertained and it's cheaper than heroin, so at least I've got that going for me.

jlcoke's creations

Harold the Crab Vacuum

Created by jlcoke 2 years ago

"I was riding the monorail back to my hotel in Las Vegas, drunk on "free" booze after losing my money playing blackjack all night, when I looked up and saw that the person sitting across the aisle from me was wearing a sticker that proudly announced, "I lost 74 pounds, ask me how!" The number was..."

I Will Never Be Dizzy Gillespie

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"Like most mothers, mine had a somewhat inflexible opinion of how children should be raised. At key points in a child's life, new experiences and skills should be introduced in order for them to reach their maximum potential. Strict adherence to her plan for childrearing would virtually guarantee..."

The Gillette Fusion Defines Me as a Person

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"I'm a can-do, take-charge, go-getter who doesn't have time for bullshit. I like my coffee black, my cars fast, and my music loud. I'm climbing the corporate ladder, kicking ass and taking names. With this kind of fast-paced, conquer-the-world kind of lifestyle, is it any wonder that the Gillette..."

Dear Ms. Waananen

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"The student-run newspaper at my college featured an open letter from a student to the top tax bracket chastising them for not investing in education. "Dear Top Tax Bracket" rebuked the habits of the rich and their predatory lending to the poor, so I decided to respond as if I were one of the..."

I'm Giving up Jesus for Lent: A Brief Analysis of Contemporary Morality

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"It isn't often that we're given the opportunity to sit back and reflect deeply on our lives; our achievements and talents, our follies and our faults. New years is one such occasion, and millions of well-intentioned folks the world over resolve each January to better themselves in one way or..."

An Open Letter to the ATM

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"What a torrid relationship we have had. We've known each other for what, 7, maybe 8 years now? There have been highs and there have been lows. There were times when you gently took the card from my hands, my fingers danced on your stainless steel keypad, and from your dispensing slot came crisp,..."

An Open Letter to my Misbehaving Toaster

Created by jlcoke 3 years ago

"You're better than this. Rather, at one point I thought you were. I remember taking you home from the store, wrapped tightly in your shiny packaging. "This is going to be a long and prosperous relationship," I remember thinking to myself as I glanced over at you in the passenger seat on the drive..."